How the Enchanted Town of Telluride, Colorado, Has Made Me Nervous to Move

As I mentioned in my post about 10 Fantastic Places to Eat and Drink in Telluride, I had just heard of Telluride, Colorado, in January 2015 when two friends of mine moved to this enchanting town.

I still remember the first time I flew over the Rockies; I was speechless, and I didn’t think I could be any more speechless than that . . . until we drove from Montrose to Telluride through the San Juan Mountains. Even eight years later, I am still in awe of how rugged and majestic these mountains are. 

Telluride is an extraordinary town. When gazing up at the harsh, jagged mountains, I become aware of how small I really am, similar to my first love of the ocean. Every time I walk through the town or take a gondola, it blows my mind that this town—or really, anything—this grand exists.

I used to be like this in DC regarding the monuments. I have always said the moment I get tired of the view is when my time is up, and I never thought that could happen . . .

Then 2015 happened.

Living the Life

Have you ever traveled to a place you knew would change your life but didn’t know how?

That has happened to me twice. The first time, it was DC. I knew I wanted to move here, and I had this life planned when I was 15, way before I ever visited.

I was 20 when I interned in DC. This internship confirmed my gut feeling that I was supposed to return. It was the first time in my life I saw a future where I could stay forever and not bounce around as I had previously in life. This was my forever home where finally, for once in my life, I felt like I belonged.

Then, five hard years later, I was back in my favorite city again! I was living the life: happy hours, the monuments, getting any food I wanted and running into elected officials, ambassadors, and POTUS. I only wanted to leave this city if I moved overseas for the government. I’d live the overseas life, then come back to DC and retire in Old Town.

And now, Colorado.

What’s So Great About Colorado?

On my first trip, I didn’t declare I wanted to move, but it piqued my interest. I just wasn’t sure what that interest was. I returned to DC after that week and returned to my old life, finding cheap happy-hour drinks on a low government salary.

A few months later, I road-tripped out to Telluride with a friend, and everything was wonderful, aside from a few hiccups, like my phone deciding to swim in a toilet in Denver. I was the only one excited about the trip; my friend had done this drive so many times, so she was over it. Meanwhile, I was high on the travel feeling:

Driving through states I had never been to,

Seeing landscapes I had never seen before,

Sleeping in random hotels.

Then we got to Colorado. At first, it was all flat land. It wasn’t until we got to Denver that we finally saw the mountains.

Then we continued our way from Denver to Telluride. That drive was stunning and scary because I had never seen mountain passages like Vail Pass. Nor had I ever driven through a canyon like Glenwood. At that moment, I fell in love with the state of Colorado.

A Safe Space

As the years went on, I kept coming back to Telluride mostly because I wanted to visit my friend, but each time I returned to Telluride and Colorado, it became my safe space. My happy place. My place where I can escape from my other life and just be. It was my place to be a different version of myself: a place I could seek answers to problems in my life.

In the last three years, I have spent so much time in Colorado, from road-tripping all over the state, skiing, hiking, camping, and drinking too much good Colorado beer. I adopted this Coloradan persona.  I love the person I am, wild and free in Colorado.

It took me a long time to find a safe space in my life. I thought DC was one. But deep down, it was more of an escape from rural Pennsylvania and more about proving to others that I could actually make it vs. their perception of me.

Colorado, I do believe, is actually my safe place. I am free to be anything I want here. I am very protective of this state to the point I get annoyed when I hear other people in my life are trying to move here when I am trying to move away from them.

Damn that Colorado spell!

Have you ever felt like you had two lives or are missing out on a different life because you are stuck in the current one? That’s how I feel all the time when I am back home in DC.

I really want to move to Colorado, and I have been talking about it for a few years now. Everyone counts the days until I will actually move versus just talking about moving. I even have a place in mind where I would like to live because it’s an excellent jumping-off point for other adventures in Colorado and other states.

But here’s the thing. I am nervous as fuck to move to this state.

But What If I Ruin It? 

I was texting my friend, saying, “I want to keep Colorado as my happy state, my safe state, my state that I can run away to and have a different life for a while. I ruined DC, and I don’t want to ruin Colorado. What if I move here and dislike it like I now do DC? That scares me because DC was my home, and I never thought I would leave. But honestly, I would now leave in a heartbeat. I’m scared to make Colorado the new DC.”

She agreed that this was my safe and happy place and suggested I should move elsewhere. 

But where? Where could I go that I would actually like? I’m fine with restarting my life. Hell, I am a pro at it. But with the wandering soul I have, would I get tired of that next place too?

There’s a quote I have had open on my computer for months:

“I travel because I need to…because my wild, adventurous spirit can’t live according to the “norm.” I travel to regroup, to reinvent myself, to be the best me I can be, to find joy in the ordinary and peace in exploring. I travel to be.”

That’s me in a nutshell! And Colorado.

Which is awesome, right? But when is this lifestyle too much? To my solo female travelers, to my wandering friends, how do you balance this?

It’s funny; all I ever wanted to was to settle down and call a place a home, but now I am trying to leave my home. I was texting one of my guy friends, saying DC is the longest place I have ever lived in, unless you count all the random places I lived in PA from elementary to grad school. I never had a stable life, and that’s all I ever wanted.

But . . . I feel like I am always leaving. The grass is greener on the other side. I always thought I was good at committing to things, but in the past year, people have pointed out that I am all over the place regarding commitment.

All because of this small, mesmerizing town and my ability to hype the fuck out of a place, I have ruined the idea of moving to Colorado. I realized this about a year and a half ago, but my current trip to Colorado makes me think. Is it really a good idea to move to your happy place?

I know I shouldn’t say I will ruin Colorado. Even my cousin was like, “Dude, stop saying that. You didn’t ruin DC; you grabbed DC and lived your life, just like you will live your life in Colorado.”

But deep down, I feel it’s possible that I will ruin this.

That’s the issue I am facing, and honestly, I have no idea what I will do. This potential relocation has so many moving parts that I must figure out first. But once that’s done . . . I don’t know what I will do…

Until then, I guess I will keep having this affair with Colorado whenever I need a break from my daily life.