Do YOU Have a Mysterious Alter Ego While Traveling?

What do Sasha Fierce, Marshal Mathers, and I have in common? We all have an alter ego when we do what we love, whether it is singing or traveling solo. And trust me, I am not a singer!

Now, I don't have a proper stage name like the people above, but in some ways, I have coined the name Wandering Bel, even prior to this website. Bel’s a whole different person who flourishes while traveling solo.

She’s not scared.

She doesn’t give any fucks about what people think.

She explores.

She’s silly.

She’s very curious.

She is happy.

And more importantly, FREE!

And another thing she is . . . she’s 1000 percent less type A than her twin, the DC girl. Between trauma and living in DC, the DC version is very uptight, controlling, and always seeking security and praise.

It's only natural that I have a twin since I am a Gemini, after all. It is a curse and a blessing, if you know what I mean. If you don’t know then let me recap for you!

A Gemini is:

A Twin!

Playful

Intellectually curious

Constantly juggling various passions and careers

Restless

Detailed

Duality Incarnate!

You can see why it’s fun to be a Gemini . . .

The more I travel and the more I look back at pictures from my travels, the harder it is to recognize that girl I see and am because sometimes she is so different from the DC version. It is hard to return from trips because Bel wanders away, which is hard for me to process at times.

Why does she leave? Why does she only feel like she can come out while traveling?

This got me thinking about others who have a twin side while traveling. I was in Honolulu for work a few weeks ago, and on my last night there, before heading to the Big Island, I was sitting next to a couple, and the wife and I started to chat about life and traveling. She mentioned that she is carefree and doesn't make any plans on her travels, but in her daily life, she is the opposite. Then, she proceeded to tell me that her husband was the reverse. He never plans and isn't anxious, but the moment he travels, his very anxious, schedule-wielding twin emerges.

The conversation confirmed to me that we all have a travel twin who probably needs to come out more to balance out both sides of us. If we didn’t have a twin, then why would we act so differently from our everyday personality? I do believe that our twin is trying to balance us out in some way . . . but I get resentful in my daily life because I "can't" be as free as I am when I wander the world. I yearn to stay on holiday permanently. In that life, my alter ego’s life feels so much better than the long commutes to and from work and dealing with the people who make things harder than they need to be.

The more I think about that resentment, the more I realize that I protect that twin from my daily life because, in some ways, I am protecting her from being jaded at times. Another reason I protected her is that I am not as brave as her, and I actually do give some fucks about judgment.

You see, when I live my life to the fullest on trips, I still get some messages from people who say things like, "Please be careful; don't die" or "I don't get why you are doing this (solo traveling or traveling in general)." And to be very honest, it really pisses me off. I will write a whole post about those comments, why they piss me off, and how to handle them in the near future, so keep an eye out for them.

Without solo traveling, I would be missing a HUGE part of life and, most importantly, myself. Traveling shows you that there are many different versions of yourself. And those versions need to have the same seat at the table. If they don't, they become resentful, and maybe that side won't come anymore because you lock them up in the name of protection.

I struggle with that after any trip; having a twin is amazing, but it’s hard when they’re both fighting to be seen and heard, and you have to put one away in the name of . . . fill in the blank.

Does this make sense to you?

Think about a time you were traveling. Did you surprise yourself with how you acted? Were you bolder? More shy?

Now, think about the time right after that trip. Did you surprise yourself by keeping that boldness or shyness?

What made you do that, or even choose not to?

Is it because that side of you wants you to pay closer attention to their needs?

I challenge you, my friend, to get to know that twin and allow them to teach you another side of yourself that you never knew existed. And even if you don’t like this alter ego, I invite you to go on an adventure with them and learn to understand that twin. They might surprise you!