Important Things I Have Learned from Solo Traveling: How to Trust

I have a highly complex relationship with the word trust to the point that it is tattooed on my arm as a daily reminder. If you want to hear the crazy story about this tattoo, check out my post “Why It's a Great Idea to Get a Tattoo with a Random Stranger in Denver, Colorado.”

I am one of those people who used to trust everyone at a younger age . . . until I realized I couldn't. I learned the hard way multiple times, opening up to "friends" about my life to discover they judge, spread rumors, or disclose personal information to others. Every time I opened up, my ass was handed to me, to the point that it was hard for me to trust. 

And this led me not to trust myself. 

Why trust me when I repeatedly make the same mistakes all the time? I obviously broke my trust, just like my "friends" above.

Which leads me to solo traveling . . .

What Does Solo Traveling Have to Do with Trust?  

When I am around friends and family, I tend to listen to them vs. my intuition. This means appeasing people instead of trusting my gut, even knowing I should do the opposite of what they want me to do. Hence, I have issues trusting myself because I go against my better judgment, and then I don't trust people because I lack trust in myself. You see the circle of mess, and why I have issues?!

It's taken a long time for me to fully notice this hot mess of a dance I do. 

But . . .

If you remove me from friends and family and put me on a trip . . . man, I am a whole different person! I sometimes don't recognize this girl. She’s a girl who wants to come out more often. I'm more adventurous, daring, more of myself, and dare to say, more trusting? 

 What Self-Discovery Looks Like 

Have you ever felt like you were different when alone, just with yourself? Have you ever thought:

"Holy shit, who am I?"

"Who is this person?"

"I didn't know you liked to dance!"

"I didn't know you had a voice or desires!"

  ***The very entertaining pictures above are the stages of me trying escargot for the first time. It is surprising when you figure out what you like.***

This is what it's like to discover your own voice and desires. That's me every time I travel by myself, and I am still amazed at how much I learn about who I am each time I go on a trip.

Now, discovering myself has taken a long time. I didn't realize when traveling solo that I wanted to find myself. Instead, I was finding new bars, places, people, and things to see and do. That was my goal when traveling. 

But then, once, I was in Chicago, staying at a hostel with a bar and restaurant, and I sat there reading a book. My goals changed. I still wanted to explore new places and have experiences, but I realized my traveling was how I escaped my life. I thought this was okay. That's why people take holidays to vacate their life.

But I kept doing that more often, and I felt like I had two lives: my everyday life vs. my travel life. That's when it hit me; I was trying to find myself and the life I wanted.

And to be fair, I still have this issue. I love that girl who is on holiday more than the girl who is back in DC, but as someone said, you can’t live your life if you are on holiday every day. However, I am still challenging that notice! Like Barry Stinson says, “Challenge accepted!” 

Listening to My Inner Voice

When I travel solo, it's just me, myself, and I. I don't have people judging me, how I travel, how much I do or don't do, or how pretty or not pretty I do things. It's just me. Over the years, I have learned to let my voice come through and allow myself to be heard.  

For example, when driving around Yellowstone Lake, I listened to my voice when it told me to go super slow, and I'm glad I did because a wolf came out of nowhere. I didn't second guess myself; I listened, and it saved the wolf and me.

That's the thing; your voice, your inner child, or whatever you want to call it, wants to be heard and listened to. All I ever wanted in life was to be heard and understood. I'm sure you can relate. I am one of those people who seek approval even though I shouldn't. For the longest time, I shut myself out and believed what other people said:

"You are too much," and "you don't know anything." 

How many of you have experienced this? I am sure many of you have.

Building Self Trust

Each time I travel solo, I learn to trust myself gradually. I listen to that voice that desperately wants to be heard. When I do that, things start to open up and get easier. Every time I travel, I grow and learn more about myself in a week than in the rest of the 30-plus years I have lived.

When you are alone, you have only you—which is fucking fantastic! But I'm not going to sugarcoat it because, at the same time, it’s also scary to be with yourself. Sitting for days is scary and uncomfortable, processing everything you have pushed down for years. And always question yourself, did I make the right choice? This is especially true if you are alone in nature.

We all have issues we are dealing with, which sometimes finally come to the surface, and we have to process and work through them. It is ugly and challenging, but in the end, it's beautiful and becomes more effortless. And most importantly, you learn how to forgive yourself more graciously and trust yourself again.

 Old Habits Die Hard

In my other blog posts, I mentioned that when you are traveling solo, you aren't really traveling solo. That's because we tend to forget we are human too. Each time, we drag ourselves out to travel, hike, camp, or sit alone at a bar, and we think we are alone. But we aren't. We are a person, too, and we must remember that. 

I love the phrase “date yourself.” I love this phase because people typically don’t spend enough time with themselves to know what they want. We are so hyper-focused on other people that we don’t give ourselves the time a day until shit finally hits the fan and we hit rock bottom.

When we actively spend time with ourselves, we understand what actually makes us happy vs. what we think. We learn to listen to that voice and not to dismiss our wants or needs. 

But when we return to reality, we tend to fall back into old patterns. Have you ever done this? I am beyond guilty of that. When I return from trips, I tend to stop listening to my voice and trusting myself and life. 

We must remember we fought so hard to have a relationship with ourselves to learn to trust and continue that relationship and not fall back on our old patterns. It's not fair to you, your inner child, and life not to. Once we start trusting ourselves, we can begin trusting life. And therefore, solo traveling is essential. 

 Through traveling, I've learned:

• What makes me truly happy

• What annoys me

• How I fake a lot of stuff

• How to ground myself

• What I like or don't like to do

I've learned how I tick as a human. I now know what I need or don't need and how to accept temporary relationships. I understand how to release fears and doubts and how we are supposed to live. These are the reasons I travel solo, and it has helped me have a better relationship with myself so that I can have a better relationship with the world.

Have you spent time solo traveling? Has it helped you trust yourself more? Tell us all about it in the comments!