How to Empower Yourself: The Magic of Solo Travel

Oh my God—you know you will get killed, right?"

"You need to give me all the details of your trip. You need to check in multiple times a day just in case you go missing and die!"

"You are so brave; I couldn't do that!" "

You are an inspiration!"

"Don't you have friends?" “

Wow, aren't you scared you will be killed?" "

You are a badass!"

"Keep doing this; you are a smart girl."

"Why solo???"

These are just SOME of the things people have said to me over the years. This post will address those comments and questions and why I think traveling solo is vital to find who you really are. 

The first thing I want to address is, no, I don't think I will die or get killed while traveling solo. Many people assume you are unsafe traveling solo because you don't have anyone there. I am safer solo than traveling with people; I will get more into that later in this post. If you have ever read or seen stories of people who travel, bad things happen more often when they are with someone they know.

It is super sweet that my friends worry about me on my adventures, but sometimes it can be overwhelming.  I'm careful who I tell about my upcoming travels because I don't want the same lecture: "You need to check in multiple times a day just in case you go missing and die!" I’m happy to let people know what I’m doing, but I don't like having people know where I am every minute. I travel to get away, not to be tracked.

"Do you have friends?" I do have friends! I've even traveled with some of them. Most of the time, though, I have found it exhausting, downright annoying, or heartbreaking to travel with friends.  

One time I traveled with someone to four countries over ten days. I was excited to immerse myself in new places and cultures. But now, when I think about Paris, I remember when my companion screamed at me in front of strangers at the Eiffel Tower, how they pushed a bottle of wine from a park bench, hitting my foot (thankfully, it didn't break!), or how I couldn’t do anything on my own. This is a great example of how traveling with someone may not be safe.

That was the only trip I ever wanted to cut short and just come back home. For the first time EVER, I was excited to touch down in DC; I almost kissed the ground when I departed the plane. As heartbreaking as it was, that trip really gave me more confidence to travel solo and not ask people to come along.  

Many of my friends and family have told me, "Oh my God, you have all these adventures—I want to come with you!" "I want to go hiking with you!" "I want to go skiing with you!" But when I ask them to join me, they are suddenly too busy, or they simply bail. 

I'm not sure why people make a big deal about my travels. Maybe they think I’m flattered? Or perhaps they want to hear my travel stories and copy me. That has happened!  I have learned not to ask people to come with me, to limit what I tell them, and do me. 

Solo travel gets a bad rap. I have met many people who are scared to travel solo because they’re afraid to be alone. Some people think that if you're traveling solo, you don't have anyone, or something is wrong with you that you’ll be lonely. That you need to be with someone to feel fulfilled and whole. Sometimes I fall for this trap. But honestly, when you travel solo, you are NOT alone. 

We tend to forget we are a person, too. We don't take enough time to learn who we are. I believe it’s because we don't want to face ourselves. This is where solo traveling, or solo fill-in-the-blank, can help. For example, I thought I needed a big group of friends to feel complete, or I needed people to go on a hike or a paddleboard adventure, but I don't. At times I think that if I keep doing things on my own, I will never want someone to come with me. 

But I know deep down I want to share an epic sunset with someone if they are the right fit. Again, learning experience! Sometimes I get lonely when traveling, but no human can replace me. Plus, I've learned that I'm not that bad to hang out with!

Another thing I've learned is that more people are traveling alone or in small groups these days. On a camping trip, people welcomed me to their site when I didn't have a spot for the night. Another time, on the way back from checking out the lake at a state park in Salt Lake City, I chatted with a lady near the parking lot. I didn't think much of it until she told me that she and her husband waited to make sure I got back okay. You will meet a lot of people like this on your travels. They will watch out for you and cheer you on, they will listen to your crazy moth story, and they will give you advice about life, travel, or anything you can imagine. They are a community that can never be replaced. A community that gets you and supports you. A community that helps you be a better person in the world. 

I have challenging relationships with family, friends, boyfriends… hell, even myself. Through traveling, I've learned what makes me truly happy, what annoys me, how I fake a lot of stuff, how to ground myself, and what I like or don't like to do. I've learned how I tick as a human. What I need or don't need. How to accept temporary relationships. How to release fears and doubts, and how we are supposed to live. These are the reasons why I travel solo.

When I was learning how to do a headstand, my yoga mentor, Rachel (whom I love dearly), said, "Well, the time was going to pass anyway, and you made such great use of it." That lesson applies here as well. 

Time is always passing, so why wait? Why wait for someone to come with you? Why wait until the time is perfect? We all know there is no such thing as the right time. Why not take yourself on an adventure already?

For tips and tricks about traveling solo!