Am I Too Old to Stay in a Hostel?

I asked myself this question while staying in an Interlaken, Switzerland hostel. This hostel, by far, had the best views I ever had. My window opened out to the Swiss Alps. There was a hot tub, and they had so many places to hang out, read, and work. The hostel was super close to everything. They even had a "club" downstairs where you could dance and drink. But I couldn't help feeling like I was "too old."

One day, after exploring Grindelwald, I returned to my hostel, changed into a pretty purple dress, and headed outside to read Blood Sweat Tears (order here). Few people were outside, so this was a perfect time to read until more people came.

I wanted to make friends, chat, hang out, and make travel magic (see my post), and I did talk to people, but the conversation didn't flow as easily. I felt like I was too old to talk to people. Mind you, these people were in their early 30s, and I am in my mid/late 30s. But the conversation with this group of guys focused on them,  and there was little interaction with me.

 I started to look around, and everyone else was in their early 20s or 30s. Age doesn't bother me; I have friends in their early 20s to 70s. I couldn't think that I was too old to be in hostels, yet the words of some of my friends started to pop into my head.

"Bel, you make decent money, so just stay in a hotel."

"Bel, you are too old to stay in a hostel."

"Bel, why do you stay in a hostel? That's for poor young kids."

I never thought those words and thoughts would come to my psyche, but they rang high like a siren.

Maybe I am too old?

Maybe I can't make friends.

Maybe I am supposed to be solo.

I felt defeated and slyly left the group that wasn't talking to me anymore. I went to my room to read in bed more. I saw people going in and out of the room, and I talked to my hostel mates, but they were the typical short conversations. 

I went to bed feeling kinda sad. This was my holiday after a week of working in Stuttgart and staying in a hostel; I wanted that Roman Holiday. I don’t mean the suffering of people kind, but more like making memories that only happen when you’re on holiday.

I tried to be social the next day, but it didn't work. I decided to check out this cool room with netting you could lay on. Within five minutes, people came, and one threw a pillow over, knocking my beer over onto me and my computer. I left my room, frustrated and pissed.

My friends were right.

I was too fucking old.

I got another beer, sat in a different room with my computer, and slowly calmed down. Out of the blue, I remembered I met someone named Blue Jay while I was in a hostel on the Big Island of Hawaii. Her real name wasn't Blue Jay, but that was her trial name. A trail name is a name that is given to you while you are on a thru-hike (something I want to do).   A thru-hike is hiking end-to-end on an established trail; think of the Appalachian Trail. You can learn more about this here.

Blue Jay was in her 70s. She had a room next to mine, but we shared a bathroom. For 25 minutes, we chatted about hiking, nature, travel, experiences, and life. She sparked a fire in me with her life experiences and how badass she was to stay in hostels, one that was already burning—especially when there were much younger people there.

Transparently, this wasn't my first time sharing a room or a bathroom with someone older than me. I remember once in Chicago, a guy from New Zealand in his 50s shared a room with me. He was the one who sparked my goal of booking a hostel for as long as I could.

When our conversation was up, she turned and headed back to her room, and I said under my breath, "I want to be Blue Jay."

I want to be like her—going out to explore and plan another hike through while in good health in my 70s and 80s. I want that zest for life and being on your own page. I do believe I will be like that, but there are no promises in life besides death and taxes.

Remembering that conversation helped me chill out. It helped me to remember that we won’t get our "Roman Holiday" every time we travel. Looking back at it now, I am glad I didn't because I would not have had my magical experience in Munich.

I firmly believe that the travel gods (or the universe) provide you with the trip you need, not the one you want. What I needed in Switzerland was to enjoy the Alps and soak up every moment of being in this beautiful country versus partying and meeting people.

I always said I would try to stay in hostels until I no longer could. And I will continue to do so, thanks to Blue Jay. I may not be as "hip" as a 19-year-old or 21-year-old, but that is okay because not every trip needs to be an all-nighter with drunkenness or befriending people. Sometimes, you need to focus on your adventures and yourself on a trip. I will never be "too old" to have experiences, especially in a hostel.

Thank you, Blue Jay, for your meet cue and my goal to live the absolute most extraordinary life of being a solo traveler.

My friend, if you are debating if you are too old because you may be the oldest person at the hostel or maybe you are not connecting as well with others, remember this:

You aren't too fucking old, and the universe and travel gods will provide what you NEED, not what you WANT.